Is courtship dead? Or just dying?

You are mentally obese if you get to the gym and see that all the machines are full, so you go home, stopping by Crumbs on route to get a cupcake.

I know today’s post should be a continuation of love theories, but I’d like to take a small detour to discuss/vent/moan/whatever else about courtship or more appropriately the death of courtship.

If you haven’t read “The End of Courtship?” in The New York Times, I highly recommend it. Here is my favorite quote, which also conveniently summarizes the article quite nicely:

“I’ve seen men put more effort into finding a movie to watch on Netflix Instant than composing a coherent message to ask a woman out,” said Anna Goldfarb, 34, an author and blogger in Moorestown, N.J. A typical, annoying query is the last-minute: “Is anything fun going on tonight?” More annoying still are the men who simply ping, “Hey” or “ ’sup.”

Texting and love

(Thank you Mo Riza)

It’s so true….or that’s what I’m told by my single friends. I can also conclude that from observing my brother and his friends. I can’t be a disingenuous moaner. I fully admit that have little first-hand experience of the lack of courtship. I’m not gloating, I promise, nor can I claim my boyfriend was a perfect gentleman (a la 19th century British gentleman). I’m just secretly 80 years old and can’t think of how a guy can possibly say “‘ ‘sup” as a way to start conversation to ask a girl out.

When my boyfriend and I first got together, he was a voracious texter. I was new to texting, but I soon changed. So yes, we did build a friendship over texting and private messages on Facebook, but there was a very good reason why we didn’t  just meet up. One of the most important reasons was that we didn’t know each other, and we met a job interview when he was interviewing me. It would have been a bit awkward for him to just ask me out after hiring me (he’s only 6 months older…had to add that in). But we did become friends first and then we started dating. It seems as though few people follow that track now. You have to know when you meet someone whether you like them or not. It’s much harder to meet someone, become friends and then just fall into a serious relationship.

So what do you think? Is it the end of courtship? Has our iPhone and Android mania killed it off? Or is it because women wanted equality and now this is it?


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